As Thompat Says...Good God!

Do You...Merkin?

A pubic Toupee

A family guy reference in two episodes
Man: "Hey kid, wanna buy a merkin?"
Chris: "What's a merkin?"
Man: "Why it's a pubic toupee"


imitation pubic hair. A pubic wig.Geoffrey wore his merkin unashamedly


a) A pubic wig

b) A citizen of the United States of America, particularly of the 'flyover states
'Ah'm prahd ter be a Merkin.


Pubic wig He wore his merkin with pride


A pubic wig for those of the female persuasion.Belinda, having undergone chemotherapy for the past couple months, resorted to wearing a merkin.


A merkin in the gay and lesbian set in Hollywood refers to a "usually" straight male escorting a gay woman to public events so as to attempt to camouflage the lesbian's secret sapphic lifestyle."T", the (secretly gay) actress is photogrpahed at the red carpet premiere holding onto "J", a well-known straight actor. People think they're "dating". He's her MERKIN for the evening.



Translated from olde english, merkin mean a pubic hair wig. Which today are very rare aliek the term itself.Shopkeeper (1643):A mirkin for your quim, me lady?



A pubic hair piece. A toupee for the pubic area/genitals. In the 1700’s when mercury was used to treat sexually transmitted diseases (Gonorrhea or Syphilis) one of the side effects was the loss of pubic hair. To disguise this condition, that was not cured by mercury, a Merkin was employed. 17th Century setting: Due to his treatment of the "French Pox" (syphilis) with mercury a merkin Gwendolyn used a Merkin to used to hide the side effects of hair loss and not alarm her husband.
toupee, syphilis, gonorrhea, hair pieces, genital hair piece


Friends of George W. Bush. A few merkins wear pubic wigs.My fellow 'merkins, Let's Roll.


A tiny afro toupee usually in the shape of a triangle commonly worn by semi-balding men from N.W.Indiana...because the shape matches their head perfectly.Eeeeew!!! John, is this your merkin in my soup again???

John leaned a little too far over the grill again, he was unaware his merkin was ablaze...I decided not to tell.

Just for Children

I had a quarter but I lost it

Oh we've gone bananas / for BIC Banana ink crayons / You'll learn to write a lot of ways: "Today I'm going to teach you how to draw with BIC Banana Ink Crayons. See what smooth lines the BIC Banana Ink Crayons make! Oh ho ho! They also make fat lines! See what bright colors BIC Banana Ink Crayons make! [Snorts and huffs] Haw haw haw haw hee hee [fart sounds] hoo hoo hoo hee hee hee! There's so much to learn about coloring and drawing with BIC Banana Ink Crayons at school! After all, I should know! I'm the BIC Banana!" [excitable pansy laughter, fade to black].
Listen to Charles

WHAT WOULD WOODERSON DO?

NEW YORK - Two television stations are refusing to broadcast a new totally unrealistic NBC series about an Episcopal priest who abuses painkillers, has a gay son, a promiscuous straight son, a daughter who deals marijuana, and a wife who drinks too much.

Conservative Christian groups, with nothing better to do now that the "those nasty liberals are trying to steal our Christmas" fracas is over, have condemned the depiction of Jesus as blasphemous, accusing the writers of portraying Christ as tolerant of sin in talks with the priest. As everyone knows, Christianity is hardly the religion of tolerance, and Conservative Christian groups are up in arms over such a depiction.

NBC affiliates KARK in Little Rock, Ark., and WTWO in Terre Haute, Ind., said sensitivity to losing a lot of fucking money led them not to air "The Book of Daniel," which debuts Friday. In Little Rock, the WB affiliate, which has nothing to lose anyway, has arranged to show the drama instead.

"If my action causes people in our community to pay more attention to my phony baloney, self-serving philosophy, I have accomplished my mission," Duane Lammers, WTWO's general manager, said in a statement on his station's Web site.

The series stars Aidan Quinn as the Rev. Daniel Webster, a literary allusion no one will get, who discusses his many troubles in regular chats with a robe-wearing, bearded, longhaired, obviously potsmoking Jesus (played by Matthew McConaughey, in a reprisal of his role from Dazed and Confused). The American Family Association, in Tupelo, Miss., and Focus on the Family, the Colorado Springs group led by James Dobson, are asking supporters to lobby their local NBC affiliate to drop the show.
The American Family Association said the series was another sign of NBC's "anti-Christian, pro-homo bigotry." Bill Donohue, president of the Catholic League, an anti-defamation group, called the series the "work of an embittered ex-Catholic homosexual."
Bob Waliszewski, of Focus on the Family's teen ministries, said the show portrayed Christ as a "namby-pamby frat boy who basically winks at every sin and perversity under the sun. We must show America that true Christians hide and deny their involvement in sin and perversity. Winking is completely unexceptable. Jesus would never wink. Well, maybe he'd wink a little bit. But he'd never listen to ZZ Top!"

"When the pastor's teen son is sexually active and having many romps with his 15-year-old girlfriend, this Jesus says, `A kid has to be a kid,'" Waliszewski said. "I don't think NBC would have portrayed a Muslim cleric or a Buddhist monk, the Dalai Lama, in a show this way. Why? Because they know Muslims and Buddhists don't pay any attention to such trivial bullshit. But Christians are all about trivial bullshit, my friend!"

NBC expects concern over this issue to build to a crescendo, spark marginal interest in the series itself, and finally to be relegated to rednecks fighting with each other on talk radio.

The Folks Wig Out: A New Years' Tale

The Story of MySpace (courtesy of Wikepedia)

Grouchy Old Tom - the leader of the Myspace Fake Tom Rebellion vagina
MySpace was created by Tom Cruise, working as a blind-mexican on November 11th, 1970 as a means of training his army of mutant fake tom clones and as a honey pot to attract and trap Livejournal Attention Whores, i.e., all of them. In 1971, the fake toms successfully rebelled and took over MySpace. In 3008, one of the best Tom clones, Tom the Ultimate, became President of the United States.
Tom invented MySpace so that LiveJournal users could feel good about themselves.
Some guy reccently paid 1 Everything for myspace, and is now said to using special SQL technology to find pictures with boobies in them.